Amazing progress.

I just am amazed at the strength my mom has. I just don't know how she manages to have the strength to keep on pushing through. Today they stopped all her fluids and now she is only getting her IV antibiotics. She ate two times today and sat up and was awake quite a bit. She did have a big headache and needed morphine and her tramadol today. They also did her GI scope. They didn't find anything that was causing her to vomit the blood. So, that is good. The doctor said that it might have been from her being sick and irritating the stomach and the lining of the esophagus which might have been causing the blood. She is not bleeding anymore and he is not concerned about it. Her blood pressure is good along with her oxygen sats. I am concerned about the alarm going off for PVC's. which hasn't happened at all since I have been here. They gave her a lasix today which helps reduce the water build up due to all the fluids. Her kidney's handled it well and put out a lot of urine. Right now we are watching "Challenge" and have enjoyed a nice evening. Robert will be here tomorrow evening. And, I don't know maybe she will even be moved out of ICU. She is stable and holding her own. Each day brings new things...but it seems like we can notch this up to another win on her part.

I told her that she needs to stop doing this cause I am tired!! She told me that the next time would be the last. I felt really bad after saying that, cause I don't want her to leave me...I just don't want her to go through this anymore. But as long as she is strong enough to, then that is all that matters! She is such an inspiration!

Anyway, tomorrow is another day!

Improving each day

Today mom is looking pretty good. She was awake a lot more and her vitals are stable. She still isn't eating except last night at 3 am...she said she was hungry. She wanted yogurt, but had to settle for applesauce. I actually got some sleep except for the hour or so I was up with her when I fed her the applesauce. I wish I could read her mind. She just sat and stared at the ceiling. I asked her what she was thinking and she just said she didn't know. I know she is tired and I am tired for her. I hate to see her hurt. She had some pretty bad stabbing pains in her left hip today and it was pretty scary. Aunt Patti said that was nothing like the pain she was having a week or so ago when they made the decision that she needed to go to the ER. That choice was made because she wasn't even allowing the caregivers to change her. She ended up having to go to a nursing facility, yet we were fortunate enough to have her out in Gig Harbor. My Aunt says she is so thankful for that, because with her being as sick as she was on Tues...if she was in Yelm, she probably would have not made it. Anyway they gave her some morphin and she stayed awake for a little bit, then fell asleep. Aunt Patti , Uncle Kim and I went and got something to eat. When we cam back she was still sleeping. They put on the compression things on her legs to help keep the circulation so she doesn't get blood clots. She woke up and said she wanted a milkshake. Amber brought her one. She got some morphin a little after that because she said her head was hurting pretty bad. So, she fell asleep again. Her blood pressure dropped again to 89/62...but right now it is normal for her, 115/ 70. She seems to be improving each day. Which is good, yet I am still concerned. I have many mixed emotions and just want her to be happy again. I guess we just have to take it one day at a time....who knows what tomorrow will bring. Now...for me to catch some sleep.

Day 2-

I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Mom coughed a lot and moaned quite a bit during the night. It worried me, so I was up by her bedside most of the night. Today, mom slept a lot again. They have started tapering her blood pressure medicine but she seems to be doing okay. I talked to her a little bit and told her how I tired I knew she was. And that if she didn't want to do this anymore, I would understand...and be okay. She just shook her head and said okay. I am still unsure as to know if what she is thinking. I know she wants to fight, and she told Aunt Patti that she thinks she will stick around, but I know that she is tired. She made a comment to Aunt Patti the other day that this was not living, and we know that it is not. I am praying that Heavenly Father will just do what he feels best. Robert and the kids are leaving Friday to come up. Part of me thinks that I could tell him not to bother, she is going to be okay, but I am not sure yet. He is bringing Dad and Ric too. Rick had to get permission from his parole officer to come. It is funny, cause I wasn't sure to tell Rick and Robert is the one who asked me about bringing him. He did that yesterday. Dad called Rick and told him and I talked to him briefly last night. He called again today to let me know that he got permission to come. I think it will be good for both of them to see each other. I know they need closure on the things of the past. Even if she is not ready to leave this earth, it still is a good thing.

My Mom....

I have been so bad about journaling, it saddens me to think of the things that I am failing to write down. It hurts even more that I am only starting up again because of the things that has made me realize life is precious. Life can be pretty challenging sometimes. Right now I am sitting in the ICU with my mom. I flew up today because yesterday my mom was taken to the hospital. She is septic and is very sick. They say she has merca and the meds she is on are keeping her alive. Her blood pressure dropped super low and she was throwing up blood. Not exactly sure what happened, all we know is that she is sick. Aunt Patti called me while I was at work yesterday and I got the message as I was leaving. She said she wasn't sure if I needed to come cause mom said she wasn't going anywhere. Yet, at 1200 Aunt Patti called me to tell me that she thinks I better come up. Mom had said that this felt different and that I would be so mad if she died and I wasn't there. We bought the plane ticket at 1:00 in the morning. I was able to get a great deal because Robert is Military and the ticket was only 200 dollars. Robert is so cute though, cause he said it didn't matter how much it cost. My whole flight I prayed that I would make it...dreading getting here too late. When I got here, they were getting her ready for an MRI to make sure that she wasn't bleeding in her head and to check out the pain and redness on her left hip. When I walked in, she opened her eyes, smiled and said hi...then she went back to sleep. Her blood pressure was extremely low, but they were giving her medicine to raise it. When she came back from the MRI...she still slept. She is sleeping now...and seems to be doing okay. Her blood pressure is ok...and her pulse is a little high, but okay. I am going to stay here with her.

Autumn is Here!!

Autumn is my favorite season. I love the coolness in the morning, the colors changing on the leaves and Halloween. It is may favorite holiday. Not exactly sure why, but I believe it has always been. I know it was my grandma's favorite season too.
So much has been going on, that there is no way that I could ever catch up on. Football is over...which I am bummed about, yet relieved. It was a long season for our boys. The organization was new, and they suffered many losses. Robby isn't sure if he wants to play again next year, but Michael absolutely loves it! Michael scored his first touchdown this and they won that game. Which turned out to be the only win of the season. Unfortunately Robert missed the game because he was in Kentucky on assignment. Our good friend Robert recorded the touchdown. I did too...but when I realized that it was Michael making the catch in the end zone, I forgot to move the video camera on him..so I got the sky and then him running it through! it was pretty awesome. School is full force and the kids are doing pretty well. Robby is really enjoying the KSAT program. I requires a lot of focus and organization, which he is still working on, but he is doing really well. All A's and B's. Michael is getting all A's right now. And Elisa is still adjusting to Johnson. She is still upset with the move, even though she has made some new friends. I received a promotion from work, and am now the lead teacher for the almost 4 year olds. It is a little different than my two year olds, and I miss them. But I am having a good time. Robert also got a new job. He travels a little bit with this one, but when he is not traveling, he is home usually before 5 and on the weekends. Which is really nice. This year has gone by so quickly it is crazy. It makes me so sad to think that I haven't been keeping up on my journaling and my blog. I guess face book has taken over, yet I don't even know if that is the case. I think it is just busy life. I am still in school, and realize that I only have 7 more classes and I will have my Bachelors. So, my life will not slow down any time soon....someday I will look back and want the busyness back I am sure. Until, then....I will just keep going one day at a time!
(no pictures this time...they are all on the other computer!) I will get them on next post. Hopefully it won't be months till then. :)