Thoughts...

As I sit in the hotel room in New Mexico on my my way home to Texas, I reflect back on the week.  The miracles I saw, and how I am so grateful for the blessings.  I also took the time to read others blogs.  I have been following a blog of a family I have never met, yet they give me such strength.  It is amazing how reading the words of others can inspire us to think and reflect on our own lives.  I have attached the button on the side of my blog.  The Sullenger family story has ispired me beyond words.  Life is so precious and really a miracle.  Each day that we have is a gift from our wonderful, loving Heavenly Father.  And he is always there for us and gives us strength to handle things which we may not think we can. He puts peopls (angels on earth) in our lives to help us along our journey.  Their strength and testimony has helped my own testimony grow. My heart aches for them, and I will continue to keep them in my prayers.  
I am grateful for my wonderful family and their love and understanding  they have of my faults.  To all that might read my blog, remember the blessings we all have in our lives.  Take time to tell those that are special to you, just how much you love them. 

The next few posts....

Ok...so I started blogging about my mom in my personal journal.  I guess I never took into concideration that I might want to have my friends and family read this.  Actually, I was afraid of what I might write, so if some of the emotions are a little more open than normal, I am sorry.  I just felt I needed to share the rich blessings in my life and the amazing strength that my mom has.

Miracles do happen!!!

What blessings I have in my life. Mom was released from the hospital yesterday!!! I can not even express my love that I have for my Heavenly Father and his work. I know that it is through the power of prayer and blessings that she is still here with us. When she received her blessing on Wednesday, it basically said that if she was done fighting, Heavenly Father was ready for her....but if she wanted to continue fighting then he would help her. She decided to fight and with Heavenly Fathers strength and the great care she received, she is now in the nursing home...hopefully on the road to returning back to an assisted living home. I am so grateful. I can not even express the love I have for Heavenly Father and just how loving my family is. I could never express the appreciation that I have for my wonderful husband. He is so understanding and supportive through everything that has gone on with my family. The love he has for me is unbelievable.

Amazing progress.

I just am amazed at the strength my mom has. I just don't know how she manages to have the strength to keep on pushing through. Today they stopped all her fluids and now she is only getting her IV antibiotics. She ate two times today and sat up and was awake quite a bit. She did have a big headache and needed morphine and her tramadol today. They also did her GI scope. They didn't find anything that was causing her to vomit the blood. So, that is good. The doctor said that it might have been from her being sick and irritating the stomach and the lining of the esophagus which might have been causing the blood. She is not bleeding anymore and he is not concerned about it. Her blood pressure is good along with her oxygen sats. I am concerned about the alarm going off for PVC's. which hasn't happened at all since I have been here. They gave her a lasix today which helps reduce the water build up due to all the fluids. Her kidney's handled it well and put out a lot of urine. Right now we are watching "Challenge" and have enjoyed a nice evening. Robert will be here tomorrow evening. And, I don't know maybe she will even be moved out of ICU. She is stable and holding her own. Each day brings new things...but it seems like we can notch this up to another win on her part.

I told her that she needs to stop doing this cause I am tired!! She told me that the next time would be the last. I felt really bad after saying that, cause I don't want her to leave me...I just don't want her to go through this anymore. But as long as she is strong enough to, then that is all that matters! She is such an inspiration!

Anyway, tomorrow is another day!

Improving each day

Today mom is looking pretty good. She was awake a lot more and her vitals are stable. She still isn't eating except last night at 3 am...she said she was hungry. She wanted yogurt, but had to settle for applesauce. I actually got some sleep except for the hour or so I was up with her when I fed her the applesauce. I wish I could read her mind. She just sat and stared at the ceiling. I asked her what she was thinking and she just said she didn't know. I know she is tired and I am tired for her. I hate to see her hurt. She had some pretty bad stabbing pains in her left hip today and it was pretty scary. Aunt Patti said that was nothing like the pain she was having a week or so ago when they made the decision that she needed to go to the ER. That choice was made because she wasn't even allowing the caregivers to change her. She ended up having to go to a nursing facility, yet we were fortunate enough to have her out in Gig Harbor. My Aunt says she is so thankful for that, because with her being as sick as she was on Tues...if she was in Yelm, she probably would have not made it. Anyway they gave her some morphin and she stayed awake for a little bit, then fell asleep. Aunt Patti , Uncle Kim and I went and got something to eat. When we cam back she was still sleeping. They put on the compression things on her legs to help keep the circulation so she doesn't get blood clots. She woke up and said she wanted a milkshake. Amber brought her one. She got some morphin a little after that because she said her head was hurting pretty bad. So, she fell asleep again. Her blood pressure dropped again to 89/62...but right now it is normal for her, 115/ 70. She seems to be improving each day. Which is good, yet I am still concerned. I have many mixed emotions and just want her to be happy again. I guess we just have to take it one day at a time....who knows what tomorrow will bring. Now...for me to catch some sleep.

Day 2-

I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Mom coughed a lot and moaned quite a bit during the night. It worried me, so I was up by her bedside most of the night. Today, mom slept a lot again. They have started tapering her blood pressure medicine but she seems to be doing okay. I talked to her a little bit and told her how I tired I knew she was. And that if she didn't want to do this anymore, I would understand...and be okay. She just shook her head and said okay. I am still unsure as to know if what she is thinking. I know she wants to fight, and she told Aunt Patti that she thinks she will stick around, but I know that she is tired. She made a comment to Aunt Patti the other day that this was not living, and we know that it is not. I am praying that Heavenly Father will just do what he feels best. Robert and the kids are leaving Friday to come up. Part of me thinks that I could tell him not to bother, she is going to be okay, but I am not sure yet. He is bringing Dad and Ric too. Rick had to get permission from his parole officer to come. It is funny, cause I wasn't sure to tell Rick and Robert is the one who asked me about bringing him. He did that yesterday. Dad called Rick and told him and I talked to him briefly last night. He called again today to let me know that he got permission to come. I think it will be good for both of them to see each other. I know they need closure on the things of the past. Even if she is not ready to leave this earth, it still is a good thing.

My Mom....

I have been so bad about journaling, it saddens me to think of the things that I am failing to write down. It hurts even more that I am only starting up again because of the things that has made me realize life is precious. Life can be pretty challenging sometimes. Right now I am sitting in the ICU with my mom. I flew up today because yesterday my mom was taken to the hospital. She is septic and is very sick. They say she has merca and the meds she is on are keeping her alive. Her blood pressure dropped super low and she was throwing up blood. Not exactly sure what happened, all we know is that she is sick. Aunt Patti called me while I was at work yesterday and I got the message as I was leaving. She said she wasn't sure if I needed to come cause mom said she wasn't going anywhere. Yet, at 1200 Aunt Patti called me to tell me that she thinks I better come up. Mom had said that this felt different and that I would be so mad if she died and I wasn't there. We bought the plane ticket at 1:00 in the morning. I was able to get a great deal because Robert is Military and the ticket was only 200 dollars. Robert is so cute though, cause he said it didn't matter how much it cost. My whole flight I prayed that I would make it...dreading getting here too late. When I got here, they were getting her ready for an MRI to make sure that she wasn't bleeding in her head and to check out the pain and redness on her left hip. When I walked in, she opened her eyes, smiled and said hi...then she went back to sleep. Her blood pressure was extremely low, but they were giving her medicine to raise it. When she came back from the MRI...she still slept. She is sleeping now...and seems to be doing okay. Her blood pressure is ok...and her pulse is a little high, but okay. I am going to stay here with her.

Autumn is Here!!

Autumn is my favorite season. I love the coolness in the morning, the colors changing on the leaves and Halloween. It is may favorite holiday. Not exactly sure why, but I believe it has always been. I know it was my grandma's favorite season too.
So much has been going on, that there is no way that I could ever catch up on. Football is over...which I am bummed about, yet relieved. It was a long season for our boys. The organization was new, and they suffered many losses. Robby isn't sure if he wants to play again next year, but Michael absolutely loves it! Michael scored his first touchdown this and they won that game. Which turned out to be the only win of the season. Unfortunately Robert missed the game because he was in Kentucky on assignment. Our good friend Robert recorded the touchdown. I did too...but when I realized that it was Michael making the catch in the end zone, I forgot to move the video camera on him..so I got the sky and then him running it through! it was pretty awesome. School is full force and the kids are doing pretty well. Robby is really enjoying the KSAT program. I requires a lot of focus and organization, which he is still working on, but he is doing really well. All A's and B's. Michael is getting all A's right now. And Elisa is still adjusting to Johnson. She is still upset with the move, even though she has made some new friends. I received a promotion from work, and am now the lead teacher for the almost 4 year olds. It is a little different than my two year olds, and I miss them. But I am having a good time. Robert also got a new job. He travels a little bit with this one, but when he is not traveling, he is home usually before 5 and on the weekends. Which is really nice. This year has gone by so quickly it is crazy. It makes me so sad to think that I haven't been keeping up on my journaling and my blog. I guess face book has taken over, yet I don't even know if that is the case. I think it is just busy life. I am still in school, and realize that I only have 7 more classes and I will have my Bachelors. So, my life will not slow down any time soon....someday I will look back and want the busyness back I am sure. Until, then....I will just keep going one day at a time!
(no pictures this time...they are all on the other computer!) I will get them on next post. Hopefully it won't be months till then. :)

Too much to catch up on...

Well, so much has gone on since my last post, that I don't think I can really catch up. I feel so terrible that I have been so bad about blogging. This is such an important part of my life and keeping a journal. I really don't know why I have let it go so long. Life really gets so busy, that I just don't seem to have enough time to do all the things that I want to do.

I am not really sure even where to begin, so I will just start with the biggest part. We moved into a new home here in Texas. We tried to buy it, but that fell through and we were able to rent it. I am super excited because after looking at so many houses this one is the one I really wanted. It is a bit smaller than the one we were in, but it fits our family well, and it is nice. Here are some pictures of the downstairs. There is still much to do, like hang pictures and finish decorating, but in general it is together. We got new furniture as well and as a added bonus, they had a deal that if we bought the "room" we got a free TV. So, Robert is in Heaven. I will add pictures of rooms and the upstairs at a later date.

My Kitchen


The backyard-playing a bean bag game that dad brought home.

My Living room-and Robert's TV

The Dining room

Swimming

We just finished up swimming and the boys did so awesome! It was a great year, except it went by super fast! Michael made divisionals this year again and Robby just missed it. Michael took 1st place for his age group in the Butterfly....watch out Michael Phelps! He also earned the teams Iron Man award which is given to the member that contributes not only physically but emotionally to the team. He definately was very motivating to others on the team. Robby earned most improved this year. He worked really hard. Seeing as he went up in an age bracket he had to work extra hard to compete with the others in that age division. Coach Alex was very impressed with his efforts and contribution to the team...as we are! Way to go boys!

To celebrate the boys acheivments we went to The Tower of America's with our good friends the Kings. Robert told Michael before each IM(individual medley race) that if he beat Justice, then he would take him anywhere for dinner. Well, Michael chose The Tower. Before one race, he told Justice, "hey, don't you want to go dinner at the Tower?....let me win and I will take you!" Well, Justice never gave in, but it was fun. So, we thought we would celebrate and go together. The boys had a great time and the food, yet overpriced, was pretty yummy.

Ok...there is tons more to share, but I need to do some homework..Yeah, I am still going to school, and my class just started up. I hope that I will be able to catch up with pictures and I will try and post a little each day...or so. No promises though.

I hope all is well with everyone...stay tuned! More to come!

Change.

Well, as you can see I updated our picture. This was taken on Halloween...we had a great time. I love Halloween. I wanted to take a new picture today on Valentines day, in our Sunday best with all my boys wearing matching red ties and Elisa and I in our pink shirts, but Robert had to work and then we just enjoyed a lazy day at home. So, that picture will have to wait. I have officially grounded myself from facebook until I update my blog...and this does not count. I have about 100 photos to sort through and put on here that explain what we have all been up to the last few months. I just feel so terrible about not posting at all. I honestly do not know where our time goes. School and work keep me busy and the kids of course...but I really only have myself to blame. I just need to make it a priority to update this seeing as it is my journal. I have so much to share I just don't know where to begin. I am going to work on the picture collages this week and hopefully have something to post here soon. Hope all is well....